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Dear Angst-Ridden Teenager with Blog,

I want you to know that I truly understand you.

Nobody gets you, right? Nobody knows what it’s like to suffer what you suffer. Your parents don’t understand the pressures of being a young, Evanescence-obsessed gothic poseur, so they’re always snooping around your stuff. The kids in your school don’t understand that your eye makeup is an extention of who you are, so they look at you funny and judge you.

I understand.

Now please shut the fuck up.