Thoughts?  Critiques?  I’m actually pretty bad at self-promotion, so let me know what you guys think.

This temporary theme is up until I can design something special.  And you may find that the navigation’s a bit screwy for a couple of days.  But we’ll be back on track in a week or so.

Hi. Are you enjoying my site? Everything okay, navigational menus, pop-up images, all that? Can I get you guys anything to drink?

Okay, great. Let’s get down to business, then, shall we?

Comment, you fuckers.

I don’t do this for the fun of it. I do it for the cash. Well, at $0.06 a day in Google AdSense clicks, I don’t suppose I could really go that far, but at the very least I do it for my deep-seated need for approval and admiration.

Sure, my posts are only marginally funny at best. And granted, the general level of interest in 1980s video game peripherals and the habits of my two cats is pretty low, even by Internet standards. But still, your comments are my lifeblood.

Many of you out there have kindly posted comments on my blog to inform me of such important matters as where I can get low-price Cialis and/or breast enhancement pills. Still others of you have been nice enough to take an interest in my online gambling opportunities. While I appreciate these fascinating if rather redundant (536 in a week! Wow!) discussion topics, I’d prefer we keep the discussions to the following themes:

1. How awesome I am
2. How awesome my blog is
3. How awesome all the things I find interesting are
4. How awesome my pictures are
5. How incredibly large my penis must be for me to write so awesomely

Try to stay away from the following topics:

1. How lame I must be to have tracked down a song from the early nineties
2. How flat my sense of humor is
3. How much spare time I must have to write this crap
4. How ridiculous I manage to look in any picture taken of me
5. Where to buy pills for erectile dysfunction (see above)

If you’ll just remember these simple requests and occasionally click on a link or two so that I can save up for that brain surgery I’ve been wanting, we’ll get along just fine. Thanks!

Love,
Pip

Actually, I’m just going to war on the spam comments.  I left this site alone for too long and the spambots have taken over.  It used to be funny, but now over 3000 comments is not.  So I’m going to take a couple of days to clear this crap out of my site.

Not that anybody reading this gives a shit, but I’m pissed so I’m ranting.

No, think about it: first they were just in email, right? Randomly emailing folk with made-up names, advertising viagra and mortgage refinancing. they’d slip their nasty little bot fingers into webpages and steal email addresses for their dirty little lists, but at least you could stop them with decent spam blockers. But then … then they spread to chat rooms, telling people they were 18/f , asking people if they wanted to see naked pictures on their profile. Fourteen-year-old kids tried to cyber with them, only to find they needed to enter daddy’s credit card to get any further. I once witnessed an entire aol chat room filled with nothing but spambots, talking to each other. Most of it was garbage, but it may have been in code:

wellhung42: guess what! 1983virgin: that’s great. would you like to see my profile? http://profile.chatclient.com/1983virgin moneyman: hey guys. wellhung42: any guys who want the secret to prolonged erection, IM me! 1983virgin: really? that’s very sexy. i’m a lonely cheerleeder, sitting around in my underwear. look at my profile! moneyman: i have a great business opportunity for you guys!

But then we learned to block them out (or got hobbies and migrated out of the chat rooms), and they had to evolve again. Now they’ve spread to blogs. I just spent — well, five minutes, but still — perusing Blogger blogs that were really ads for casinos and pocket bikes (whatever the hell that is). If they keep evolving like this, it’s only a matter of time before they spread to the computers that control our defense grids and demand that we buy cialis or face our immediate extermination. I’ve seen War Games; I know the score.